Dave: So handsome. Look at them. They look so alike. 

Did Joey, were they always…

Lena: Yeah i mean i think they knew since they were like eight.

They came out officially as a teenager. To their mum. I mean there weren’t words exactly at that time but they just said, like one day, they just said: mum i don’t think

I’m a girl. And she was like ‘ok sweetheart are you a boy?’ and Jo was like: no, I don’t think i’m that either. She had no idea about any of that stuff but was like totally

amazing. And Jo grew up as what Cath called ‘a bit of this, a bit of that’ and she said she’d always say to people when they’d ask if Jo was he or she, she’d say ‘my Jo

is my jo , not jo-he, not jo-she!’ and she’d let them wear whatever they wanted to school or to parties or whatever. I think school was hard for that stuff but she didn’t

give a shit about all that. 

Dave: She sounds just like - holy

Lena: She is

I love her

She is a bit of a demi god, to be honest 

Dave: Wow

Lena: That’s why Joey wants to be a parent. To give a kid the same like loving, affirming whatever cookie-cutter perfect childhood 

Dave: Not like the fucked up ones we had, right?

Lena:  . 

Dave: Sorry I mean I don’t even know you 

But the fucked up ones like us … we have an aura, right?

Lena: . 

I mean.

  (What the fuck?)

I - 

there is an awkward moment. 

Dave:  Why do you want to be a parent?  

Lena: Oh… I dunno. I mean it’s a bit of an overshare

Dave: (pointing at himself) Queen of overshare. Pray tell.

Lena: There was this time I was being fucked and I was on my knees and and my hands were in front sort of like this and it looked well it felt exactly like I was in one of

those films that we used to watch you know the ones in sex ed when they’re trying different birthing positions? Anyway, I started to fantasise about this tiny cone-

like head crowning out of my cunt at the same time as I was being pounded into and I was so immensely aware of my body and all of its holes and and then I

started to think about about death and and life and how I was just like any other animal who could and I wanted so badly to know what that was what that felt like

to have all of that inside me all that power to create something that has the has the head in the shape of a cone but also to fuck and to destroy everyone and

everything around me like some kind of like a fucking phoenix born of the ashes made of fire or fucking Ragnarok where the whole earth is destroyed only so it

can be reborn into something of my own making.

Beat 

Dave: .

Beat

Lena: Do you think I'm a freak?

Dave: No. I - 

No 

I mean 

It’s like … (holy) 

I’m not religious - my parents were crazy religious

But i’m not 

I just 

It’s just 

(he’s thinking about a baby) 

Lena: Why did you lose touch?

Dave: Huh? 

Lena: In high school, your best friend with the baby. Why did you lose touch? 

Dave: Haven’t we been (through that). I moved away 

Lena: But there are phones. You could’ve just .. 

beat. 

Dave: Are you interviewing all the prospective sperm donors like this?

beat. 

Dave: Ok…. Well…  It got… It kind of fucked me up? I … We were so young and there were times when me and her and the baby. I dunno. I would like spend days and then

weeks at her house. She lived in the bottom of her parents house and you could walk down these steps to the utility room bit underground and that was where she

was. So it felt like, it felt like this separate house. I was like .. they were like my (family). and we’d just bitch about the baby daddy and she’d go to classes and me

and the baby would just hang out and i loved her. I loved her so much. but it was too (painful)...

There has always been this bit of me that wanted to .. 

When i was a kid I wanted so badly to be pregnant, To carry my own child I - 

I know, I’m a freak, But it’s the truth.

I know it’s fucked up.

Lena: That’s not fucked up.

That’s not - 

You’re not a freak.

Dave: Thats… When i’d get home, from looking after the baby mum, I used to - I used to shove whatever up my top. Walk around my room imagining it was me, imagining I

was pregnant with this .. I dunno. I wanted it so badly, I wanted to be able to do that, to have the feeling of. That’s when I -

Lena: Left home? 

Dave: I didn’t leave home. home left me.  My parents found me, and I tried to - I tried to explain to them how my body felt. How it didn’t feel right, or it, it, didn’t feel good

enough. Like I couldn’t be what they wanted me to be, I think. To be a ‘guy’ or whatever, whatever the fucking bible bashers expected me to look like and sound like,

but they -

There was no way 

They couldn’t hear any of it 

My body - however long I’ve been aware of having one, I’ve been aware of the world telling me it’s wrong. My body got me wrong, or I got my body wrong or

whatever.

This body of mine doesn’t bear a child. It won’t ever bear a child. It can’t and it won’t. And I don’t know how to, it’s taken me a long time to come to terms with that.